[FREE] The Dead Grandmother/exam Syndrome
The results presented in this report provide a chilling picture and should waken the profession and the general public to a serious health and sociological problem before it is too late. Values are corrected for the number of students in each grade class and the relative frequency of mid-terms and finals. The effect of an upcoming exam is unambiguous. The mean FDR jumps from 0. Figure 1 shows that the changes are strongly grade dependent, with correlation coefficients of 0. Overall, a student who is failing a class and has a final coming up is more than 50 times more likely to lose a family member than is an A student not facing any exams. Figure 1. Graph of data in Table 1, showing the relationship between exam, student grade and FDR. The equation for the simple linear regression on each is shown, as is the correlation coefficient.
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The Dead Grandmother Syndrome and How to Treat It
This explanation, however, does not explain why grandfathers are seldom affected, and clearly there are other factors involved that have not been identified. Nonetheless, there is considerable comfort to be had in realizing that these results indicate that the American family is obviously still close-knit and deeply concerned about the welfare of individual members, perhaps too much so. Family Values As some colleagues have expressed some degree of skepticism over my interpretation of these data, I have extended the scope of my research into the phenomenon. Using readily available sources including the National Census Bureau and The National Enquirer have examined the relationship between education and family structure. Interestingly, there appears to be no correlation between FDR and the size of the extended family Table 2.
The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome
The exceptionally high death rate among grandmothers 24 times greater than for grandfathers suggests the latter explanation is correct. If not, then people from very small families would be well advised to discourage other family members from attending college, since the potential risk becomes excessive with so few members to share the danger. Table 2. The figure for students with no family would have been zero, had the class not included a family-less student a member of the baseball team who tragically lost at least one grandmother every semester for four years. The problem is clearly far more pervasive than most people realize. For example, if one examines the percentage of the population attending college and the mean divorce rate on a country by country basis, there is a very strong positive correlation between the two.
The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome and the Potential Downfall Of American Society.
Although this study is still in progress and will form the basis for a future CSU grant proposal, it seems results already are becoming clear. As more people go to college, their families find that, for safety reasons, it is wise to increase the number of grandmothers per family. Since there is currently no biological way of doing so though another grant proposal in preparation will ask for funds to look into the prospect of cloning grandmothers, using modern genetic engineering techniques , the families must resort to increasing the pool by means of divorce and remarriage. Sociologists may wish to use these data to examine the effect of education on family structure from a new perspective.
The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome and the Potential Downfall Of American Society
While the general facts of this problem have been known, if not widely discussed, I have recently become aware of a potentially far more dangerous aspect of the whole process. This trend came to light when a student reported two family members dying prior to an exam. The best-fitting curve shows an exponentially rising curve, with the equation shown in the figure. Clearly something will have to be done to reverse this trend before the entire country is depopulated. Three possible solutions come to mind: 1.
Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome - we need to be on the look-out!
Stop giving exams. At first glance, this seems to be the simplest answer to the problem. Like many simplistic solutions, however, it fails to consider the full ramifications of such a course. Without exam results, all medical schools would be forced to close their doors, having no way of identifying worthy students. The resultant dearth of physicians in the next generation would throw so many other professionals tax accountants, malpractice attorneys, golf pros, etc.
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Regretfully, we cannot recommend this solution. Allow only orphans to enroll at universities. This is an attractive idea, except for the shortage of orphans. More could be created, of course, but this would replicate the very problem we are trying to avoid, i. Have students lie to their families. Students must never let any of their relatives know that they are at university. Initial field tests show that keeping just the grandmother ignorant is neither feasible nor safe for the rest of the family. The only solution is that the family must never be aware that the student is even enrolled at a university. Students must explain their long absences by pretending they are in the armed forces, have joined some religious cult, or have been kidnapped by extraterrestrials.
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All of these alternate explanations will keep the family ignorant of the true, dangerous, fact. Although it might be argued that such large-scale deceptions cannot be maintained for long periods, the success of many politicians suggests other- wise. What I Recommend It will take time to discover whether any of these solutions are feasible. In the interim, the problem is clearly far too important to be ignored.
Dead grandmothers no more: the equal accommodation classroom
While the state is deciding on the make-up of such a committee and what its charge should be, I would urge all members of the academic community to start keeping their own records. If faculty throughout the world were to send me summaries of their own knowledge about this matter, I could compile a follow-up report for publication in a year or two. You can download or purchase back issues of the magazine , or subscribe to receive future issues. Or get a subscription for someone as a gift!
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I by Mike Adams Department of Biology Eastern Connecticut State University Willimantic, Connecticut t has long been theorized that the week prior to an exam is an extremely dangerous time for the relatives of college students. In my travels I found that a similar phenomenon is known in other countries. Since the revolution this may have changed anyway.
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Although the problem may be international in scope it is here in the USA that it reaches its culmination, so it is only fitting that the first warnings originate here also. For over twenty years I have collected data on this supposed relationship, and have not only confirmed what most faculty had suspected, but also found some additional aspects of this process that are of potential importance to the future of the country. The results presented in this report provide a chilling picture and should waken the profession and the general public to a serious health and sociological problem before it is too late. The effect of an upcoming exam is unambiguous. The mean FDR jumps from 0. Figure 1 shows that the changes are strongly grade dependent, with correlation coefficients of 0.
The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome - Improbable Research - medicoguia.com
Overall, a student who is failing a class and has a final coming up is more than 50 times more likely to lose a family member than is an A student not facing any exams. Next exam.
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The Dead Grandmother Syndrome and How to Treat It Posted on by Macie Hall If you are a woman of a certain age, with grandchildren attending college, please watch out for yourself over the next couple of weeks. Your mortality rate is about to increase dramatically. As the end of the semester approaches and exams and papers are due, students who fall behind may resort to excuses for extensions or make-up dates. Enter the death of a beloved grandmother. Cynics disbelieve all excuses. Fools believe them all. No question about teaching is harder to answer because no question is less attractive. Eifler, while well aware of the dead grandmother syndrome, also recognized that students do have deaths in the family and these events demand a sympathetic and courteous response, even while not wanting to encourage students to practice deception. I can also match their vagueness.
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If the loss was authentic, the family is touched at the gesture, and I am truly glad to have extended that civility. However, if the story was a fabrication, the student finds he or she has some uncomfortable explaining to do to the family, which usually curbs that behavior. For example, he allows his students to come up with policies on device use in the classroom, having learned that students are more likely to adhere to policies when they have had a voice in the decision. We should also look to make students trust us enough that if tragedy does strike — sometimes family members do die, you know — they feel comfortable coming to us and explaining why they need some extra time. Please share your policies and solutions in the comments section.
Dead Grandmas & Teaching Research Questions - Sociology Source
With such magnificent virtues, it is normal that for many years these women have been extraordinary daughters, housewives, mothers and wives. They become grandmothers without realising it, in the prime of their life, when they are strong, healthy and even beautiful. With pleasure they take on the bringing up and care of the grandchildren, as if they were mothers the second time round, but with an even more pleasurable, gratifying and affectionate character. TIME The years go by and nobody realises.
The Dead Grandmother/Exam Syndrome - Improbable Research
The load and the family stress multiply: More sons- and daughters-in-law, sometimes doubled or even tripled through divorces, separations and all kinds of pairing. The grandchildren grow up, and so do the needs and responsibilities of those who look after them on a daily basis. The grandchildren and their parents often bring home friends and family to enjoy the hospitality of the enviable grandmother. Sometimes an associated illness decreases her strength even more. IMBALANCE There comes a moment when the abilities and the will power of the grandmother are not enough to be able to fulfil the tasks she has been carrying out for years.
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